Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Is Revenge Really Sweet?

Lee has been studying 24/7 for the bar exam lately (which he takes this week!), which means I've had some extra alone time. Usually when he's busy, I use some of that time to catch up on my chick flicks (not Lee's favorite movie genre). I had been really wanting to see You Again, and I'm ashamed to say, I also had Revenge of the Bridesmaids in my Netflix queue as well (you probably haven't heard of the latter--it is a recent made-for-TV movie, which I hope doesn't make you lose all respect for me). I enjoyed both of them, though I thought You Again was far better. Not only did it have much better acting, a better plot, and better filming, but it also had a much better message.

In case you haven't seen either of these movies, they both involve the issue of revenge. In Revenge of the Bridesmaids, 3 girls plot to overthrow their evil high school nemesis's upcoming wedding. The bride-to-be is arrogant, selfish, and conniving, and her rivals must rescue the unsuspecting groom before it's too late. You Again has a similar plot. The main character goes back home for her brother's wedding, only to find out that he is marrying the evil girl who used to bully her in high school. She makes it her mission to expose the bride for who she really is and stop the wedding from happening, also in order to save the oblivious groom (question--why are these guys so clueless??). The movies are very similar in that both are seeking revenge on someone who has seriously wronged them in the past. The difference is that in You Again, the main character, Marni, realizes that revenge isn't quite as sweet as she thought it would be.

In Revenge of the Bridesmaids, the girls succeed in sabotaging the wedding, exposing the bride for who she really is in front of all her wedding guests, and ultimately getting what they want in the end. The message this sends is that we have a right to put mean people in their place and expose them to the world. If we seek revenge on those who have wronged us, we will triumph. In You Again, Marni successfully exposes the bride, Joanna, at her rehearsal dinner, showing a video of Joanna in her evil high school days. As a result, her groom walks out on her, and she is completely humiliated...this also results in a physical fight between the two girls. Marni has her revenge, but it hasn't been sweet or satisfying. Her brother is enraged that she would ruin the best weekend of his life, and her parents are shocked at how vindictive she has been. The message in this movie is that seeking revenge does not pay off. Marni got what she wanted by exposing Joanna, but it only made her feel guilty and miserable in the end.

As girls, we're great at holding grudges and getting back at the ones who have wronged us. The revenge we seek on someone probably won't be as drastic as that attempted by the girls in these movies, but it happens on a smaller scale all the same. We seek revenge by gossiping about the person and putting him/her down in front of others. We seek revenge by giving people the cold shoulder. We give dirty looks, we snub people, we flirt with the guy we know our friend likes, we intentionally hurt them in order to make ourselves feel better. But does this work? Do you ever actually feel better after doing any of this? Putting down someone may make you feel better for a little while, but don't you always end up feeling guilty for being so catty?

What does God have to say on the topic of revenge? Here are a few verses on the topic that can speak for themselves. Leviticus 19:18 says, "‘Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against anyone among your people, but love your neighbor as yourself. I am the LORD." Romans 12:17-21 says, "Never pay back evil for evil to anyone. Respect what is right in the sight of all men. If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men. Never take your own revenge, beloved, but leave room for the wrath of God, for it is written, 'Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,' says the Lord. 'But if your enemy is hungry, feed him, and if he is thirsty, give him a drink; for in so doing you will heap burning coals on his head. Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.'"

God clearly doesn't want us taking revenge out on each other. Instead, we're called to forgive and show love to those who have wronged us. This doesn't mean that justice shouldn't be served and lies shouldn't be exposed, but it does mean that there is no room for a vengeful, vindictive attitude toward those who have wronged you. Remember that you are not in the role of punisher/judge. God clearly says that vengeance is His alone. Galatians 6:7 says, "Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, this he will also reap." People will eventually reap the consequences of their actions. Nobody gets away with wickedness completely scot-free. Hebrews 4:13 says, "Nothing in all creation is hidden from God’s sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account." God sees everything that is going on, and it will one day be exposed and judged...but it's not your job to do the exposing and punishing. When you really think about it, what gives you the right? Surely you have wronged others yourself, haven't you? I know I have!

Revenge may make for an interesting and exciting movie plot, but it doesn't pay off in real life. Repent of any grudges you may be holding against people who have wronged you, and release those feelings of retribution over to God~